We started announcing our move to Redding before we’d even heard back from the school of ministry. Before Paul had a job, or we had a house to live in. We had received a word that God would make a way to get us there and that we just needed to take the next step in front of us and trust that God would have it available before our feet. Even if we couldn’t see the step, we needed to step out. Adrenaline spurred it on for me. The emotions swirling around doing something new, getting Paul on the road to his dreams, and being close to so many of our favorite famous mentors (Hellloooo…Bethel leadership is awesome!) made it easy somehow, or at least less stressful.
But now the week is here. We are moving to Redding. Here is the scoop: The Lord provided a job miraculously and Paul has not even met his new boss, he was hired over the phone! He is transferring to a Starbucks up there, and though he was told that he could not transfer because he’d been a Starbucks employee for less than 6 months, some strings were pulled by district (none of which we orchestrated on our own), and now he’s going to be serving up some fraps in Redding. And I’m not going to lie, Starbucks is my favorite job that he has worked and I can promise you it’s purely for superficial reasons. Like caramel frappuchinos for cheap. I’m afraid I won’t have as many of those once we go into full time ministry.
Our housing situation was a bit different. We still didn’t have a house the first two weeks of August, and we were planning on moving the last week all the same because Paul was supposed to start work on the 25th. There were times I thought I would pull my hair out. I had an ad on a local site in Redding asking for housing leads. A married couple emailed me and asked if we were interested in renting two rooms from them, and basically sharing their home.
So let me rewind here: when we had started our journey to getting to Redding, there were a couple things the Lord promised us. Some things I hadn’t even heard Him say, but I just felt Him nudging me along the path. They were that A) I wouldn’t have to give up my dogs, and B) He would provide a better housing situation for us. We love our rental here, but the landscape has not been so conducive to children playing. We live by a busy road, on a slanted plot of land. My pregnant butt has slid down our steep cabin stairs more than once. And it’s hot…oh so hot, I can’t sleep at night. The kids have fans, and we make it work. I am not ungrateful. I would stay in this house for years if I could, but if we’re going to move, I wanted to be in something that would suit us better. I knew God had it for me.
So back to this couple. They love Jesus. They love children. They bought their house to be a blessing to others…and it just so happens to come with a enormous wrap around fenced backyard. And as luck would have it (or God would have planned it!), they are fans of dogs too. The situation kept falling into place, and no matter how much the idea of privacy sounded good to us, we couldn’t get the idea of living with this couple out of our heads. It was also much more agreeable with our budget than a two bedroom house in the projects. Which was seriously going to be our fate! So I am excited to move in with these guys, we’ve skyped with them and had a wonderful tour of their gorgeous home, and our two new bedrooms. Of course we have access to everything in their house as well. Not to mention, they don’t really enjoy cooking so I’m hoping to bring my special touch to the kitchen. The husband is paralyzed and in a wheel chair and the house always has to stay cool in the summer, and toasty in the winter.
...........Oh wait. I’m still here. I was just day dreaming of not doing dishes with two layers of sweatpants, a puffy jacket and a scarf on Christmas morning. Or embracing ice packs wrapped in wet towels against my chest so I can fall asleep anytime it’s over 90 degrees outside. That is a major plus for me.
As we are approaching moving day I have been forced into making a moving plan. It hit me all at once …if I am moving into a fully furnished house, I don’t need my furniture. I don’t need the curtains I sewed for my kitchen. I don’t need my favorite “heart” shelf. I don’t need my pots and pans, or my blender, or crock pot, or microwave. Does this sound superficial? Paul and I have walked through some really hard financial times, and our vacuum and our microwave are the first things we ever bought new for our home. When we moved into our current house we had no pots and pans, and my budget was literally $2 a week, so I would go to thrift stores each week and pick up a “new” pot or pan. My crock pot was a birthday present from Paul’s parents because the one I was using was given to me by a neighbor and I had to turn it on with hand plyers thanks to a broken knob. I am grateful for the things I have, and unfortunately that coupled with my poverty mentality makes me want to hold onto everything. Even my $20 couch that I hate. Because it’s mine. The kitchen table we call ours was outside when we moved to this house and no one knew where it came from. It was all we had. I used my birthday money to buy stain to redo it. I repurposed the mildewy cushions with an old Christmas table cloth that I had because I couldn’t afford fabric. A lot of this stuff is crap, but I’ve poured my heart into making a home for my family. I know I can save it. I know we won’t live with this family forever. But what’s the point? What if we do share a house for two years…that old kitchen table should just wait on me? I’m really of the mindset that kitchen tables are a “dime a dozen” on Craigslist. And this one’s old, and missing parts! I sold the kids changing table and dresser yesterday. They were both cheap finds that I repainted and changed the hardware on. And I sold my hall tree- the first purchase we made for our new house when we got to Mi-Wuk.
I have to be honest, my ideas of going to Redding were certainly star struck. I saw myself in this new house in a neighborhood, with a nice sectional couch, and a vintage ranch style kitchen table. I know it was naïve. That is the other reason I am ok with selling these things that came to me cheaply (well, most of it did), because they were just things that I made work. And Paul keeps telling me that this move is about launching us into a future, and into his dreams. I really didn’t know how much I was going to have to give up to go to Redding. Material things? Yes. But parts of me nonetheless. I am holding onto the promise of the future. I’m going to keep adding to my Pinterest boards because I want a home of my own one day. I just need to take a deep breath and remember all that God has provided for us to get to Redding, and all that He has for us there. I haven’t even gotten there yet and I have women asking to be “surrogate grandma’s” and the couple we are moving in with have already referred to us as “bro and sis.” I love what God is doing, and even though theses past few days of sacrificing my “things” have been difficult, I know I won’t miss them when I encounter what we are actually going to Redding for: MORE of our Maker. Becoming acquainted with more of His radical fans, I just can’t wait.
And the more I have pondered this housing situation, the more I am grateful for God’s plan for us….because the alternative would be me at home with three young kids by myself while my husband works and goes to school. Not ideal. This is a sacrifice for me, learning to live with less. But I believe it’s God nonetheless and though I’ve been an emotional wreck as we gear up for the move, I guess there is a part of me that is excited. Ok, a big part of me is excited.
.....I am excited as long as I ignore the fact that in less than week, I will be moving to Redding. It is then that I want to wet my pants. And hoard all of my junky furniture into a corner and beat the yard salers off. And roll around in all of the clutter that I’ve let build up in my life. So to cope, I am trying not to think about it. Paul swears packing and cleaning will go fast. Apparently he isn’t 7 ½ months pregnant.
There, I managed to face reality for like 20 minutes to update my readers and friends. I am moving to Redding next Friday. We have a way to get there. Paul has a job and we have a house.
Now, back to relaxing on the couch with an ice pack on my neck, while kiddos nap, and husband plays video games…ahhh, life as I know it.
