Friday, March 4, 2011

Parenting with Proverbs

Oh, sweet time to myself. You have no idea how wonderful this feels. Everything is still now, except for the dryer, but the combination of clanging and humming is soothing (must be a stay-at-home mom thing?). Life is going well, but I must say that since Paul and I treated ourselves to a new laptop charger for Valentines day (although dear husband bought me 500 days of Summer on the side J ) I am very excited to be writing again. I promised myself that this particular blog would sans any faith talk, but alas, without it there is very little to write.

I love when I am going through a particular season where God is trying to teach me one thing. A couple of months ago it went like this: I started watching “The Duggars,” became friends with a couple that both husband and wife were from large families and were total advocates, received A Full Quiver for Christmas and read it in a day (also received the Duggar’s book), read Psalm 127 only 150 times because it was the theme scripture for both of my Christmas books. I asked the Lord to give me a verse for the new year on December 31st, at 11:58 pm. I apologized to the Lord for being so simple but I was tired and I wanted something to speak over my year. What would He be teaching me? I opened the Bible, let my finger fall, smack! Psalm 127. Yes, Lord! I know you want me to know this verse! That was a special season for me.
With that being said, I’ve been moving into a new one: Proverbs. You know, on a busy day when the Bible didn’t make it into my morning, or afternoon, or night, I would pull the big Book out and flip to Proverbs. It was my “convenient” book of the Bible. It was easy to understand, and always convicted me of something. How wrong I was to treat it as like this sort of back up book, Well, I’m feeling lazy so Proverbs it is! I think Proverbs has a name for that type of person, FOOL! I do not want to be foolish. In fact, I have been craving Godly wisdom more now than any other time in my life. I have this hunger for it. I fasted for it a couple of weeks ago. Every time our church offers prayer I want an impartation of it. Luckily, in James it says that if we desire wisdom we can just ask for it and God will give it. With a side note: we can’t doubt that we’ve received it or we’re double minded. Ugh, how many times do I doubt myself a day while I’m trying to parent with Godly wisdom, or be a Godly wife? Maybe a million! This is hard lesson to learn.

Anyway, I want wisdom for parenting. I want to be who God made me to be, and I’m pretty sure He did not intend me to be quick-tempered, condemnatory, stressed, and constantly worried. I guess you can understand why I hunger for wisdom. Sadly I am all of the above mentioned. I have recently read through about 5 parenting books, and here is what I am learning: discipline consistently, praise continually, pray unceasingly, and make yourself available. Try doing all of that without a little grace! It’s impossible, but I am learning that I was never meant to do this alone. I was never meant to do this without spending time in the word daily. I was never meant to do this without the pursuit of wisdom. With that being said, I have been trying to do these things. When Jake messes up instead of screaming or swatting at him, I get down to his level and whisper. If he disobeys again, I punish him. For every time I punish him I mark it down a calendar as a “-” sign. For each “-” there better be 10 “+” which stands for something encouraging that I said, “Jake, you are such a wonderful big brother,” “ Jake, you are so good at playing by yourself, Mommy is so proud of you,” “Jake, you are such a big helper to Mommy, I love when you help me put books away,” “You found your pink truck without my help, that is great attentiveness, that’s even a Character quality of Christ.” Never mind that he has no idea what I’m talking about sometimes, but getting into the habit of these things now will pay off in the long run. When he talks, I listen. I really listen. No more, “uh huh, yeaaaah, That’s cool buddy,” all the while I have no idea what he is telling me about. I have also been trying to take time to pray, this is what I do least of yet it is the most profound thing I can do in my quest to be a Godly, wise parent.

I subscribed to “Above Rubies” this last month, and on one of the most stressful parenting days I’d had in a long time, it finally came. Thank you, Lord! If you are a Mom, you need to go to www.aboverubies.org and subscribe, it’s free! Anyway, I want to share what Nancy Campbell (the founder) wrote in the introduction article. It was like water to thirsty ground for my soul. I needed it.

“ …I talked about how adversaries came to stop Ezra and Nehemiah from building the temple and the walls of Jerusalem. I noticed that they tried ten different ways to stop them. It is interesting that the devil uses the same tactics on mothers today in order to stop them in their great building program of building godly families which builds a godly nation. One of the greatest threats to Satan’s plans is God-fearing parents who raise godly children. The more godly arrows they sharpen and polish for God’s purposes, the more Satan’s plans will be frustrated in the earth. Godly mothers, embracing and raising children for God’s glory, are dangerous to the enemy. Nehemiah had a good response to his adversaries. When they tried to distract him to come down from his work he did not get pulled into their plans, but stated, I AM DOING A GREAT WORK. I CANNOT COME DOWN!….Whenever you are tempted to feel sorry for yourself or discouraged because of negative comments of people around you, don’t give in to these lies. Instead, confess out loud, I AM DOING A GREAT WORK. I CANNOT COME DOWN! Never forget the power and importance of your high calling.”

Thank you Nancy. I know I can do this. I wrote these words across the top of my discipline chart.
I thought about putting an insightful proverbs following this blog, but I can’t choose one, they are all so profound. I cannot parent without the Lord’s help, and I’m grateful that I’m learning this while my children are young, and humbled by the task that lies ahead. I am not perfect, how many times can I say this. I am barely adequate. But, “Commit your plans to the Lord, and you will succeed.” There, I picked one!

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