What I am affectionately calling my "Reagan Revelation"

This is my dog. Her name is Reagan and I absolutely adore her. Even when she's all melancholy because she hates pictures.

We’ve tossed around in our heads getting rid of her when we move to Redding, but only to family.  We were willing to give her up but just when we’d lifted her to the altar, God told us to take her back down. Shoo, that was close. I wanted to start there because she was part of a revelation I had the other night. Her little furry face stirs all sorts of things in my heart, but this one particular thing was from the Lord and it’s given me a new perspective.

So let me back up and tell two different stories here. First of all, the verse “delight yourself in Him and He will give you the desires of your heart,” has been floating around in my head, particularly “delight yourself in Him” part. I love it. I read a blog recently that highlighted this verse, saying that as we grow closer to God, our desires become His. I’ve heard this in sermons a million times and I agree, by the way.

The other instance happened two days ago. A friend gave me “Finger of God,” a documentary about miracles by Darren Wilson. It was so good. I’ve become a particular fan of his work and this was probably my favorite, neck to neck tied with the other two in his trilogy J . I want to expose my kids to supernatural things, it’s important to me. One day, on the streets, for now, we start on this journey the way Darren did, just stepping out in curiosity and waiting to see how the Lord shows up. So me and Jake and Sonora Grace all parked our booties on the couch and hit play. If you’ve seen the documentary, you know how it starts. Darren talks about growing up in a religious “grid,” and really not expecting much of God. But as he hears about signs and wonders happening all over America, and miracles and healings taking place…he wants to explore these things, and see what God is up to outside “doing church.” His theology gets stumped when his aunt and uncle are miraculously given gold teeth. This probably comes as a shock to some people, but it’s true. I’ve seen it happen to people I know. God gives them gold teeth. Why? I don’t know. Darren comes to the same conclusion that I have, you just can’t put God in a box. But ultimately it is determined by pastors and revivalists that are exposed to it on a regular basis that it’s really an expression of God’s love. So in a funny way, Jake perks up and says, “I want gold teeth too,” and then Sonora Grace starts jumping all around me saying “gold teeth, gold teeth!!” (I think it’s sort of funny that my kids are radical little Jesus chasers!). Honestly, a couple of months ago some people in our community were receiving gold teeth and just the next day I had a tooth ache. I prayed for gold teeth and didn’t receive. BUT, God did take all the pain away in a wisdom tooth that was breaking through. So I was just grateful. I never forgot though…why all of these other people, and not me? Not jealousy, just curious. So when the kids started talking about it, I just prayed with them to receive, and I prayed for myself too. But we didn’t get any. All day and all night passed and we checked our teeth before bedtime and still no gold teeth. I told Sonora she should forget about it because she has perfect baby teeth, but Jake actually has two silver teeth from having dental work and those were the teeth we were going after. No gold teeth though.

Let me say here that my relationship with God is not changed by the fact that this did not happen for us. I’m not seeking a sign or wonder and having that chase determine my relationship with the Father. I simply thought, “if God is handing out gold teeth as an expression of His love, well I want to experience more of Him!”

That night I was on the couch just sort of lounging, praying, relaxing, and a furry little someone named Reagan jumped into my lap. She wears the "wet dog food" look well, doesn't she?

Several months ago I began to pray for a small dog. I love dogs. I love all animals, really, in fact I used to pride myself on the fact that I got along a lot better with animals than people! Now I wish I was better with people, and not so comfortable with slimed hands and a shirt covered in horse hair. Yes, one of my love languages is dog slobber! But we couldn’t even afford $200 to adopt a dog in the county. We looked on Craiglist and Paul was like “Summer, if God wants us to have a dog, he’ll land one in our laps.” I hate his logic-less rationales sometimes. We had Rush, but I just wanted someone [canine-ish] to take to bed at night. I wanted someone to lay on my lap on the couch. I wanted someone to keep Rush company. I mentioned my desire at Bible study one night during prayer time and one of my friends piped up that she was giving away her registered Shih-Tzu. And so we picked her up three days later with her papers, and all of her supplies.

This particular night Reagan jumped on me while I was just sitting with the Lord, and I heard him say, “You don’t want gold teeth, you wanted a small dog.” And I realized how true it was. I saw right away that God had already given me my real desire. I always call her, “my kiss on the cheek from the Father.” To me, aquiring her was a miracle (not as inexplicable as gold teeth, but nevertheless!).   After having my “Reagan revelation” I’ve been having moments like this for days, like how I had prayed for a baby for months, and here she is now, growing in my womb.Where everything around me is actually what I want, and the sort of things I am praying for (more money, a better house, a better job, bigger vehicle…) are so secondary to the things that I already have: a Godly husband who loves me unconditionally, a son who calls me his best friend, a daughter who wants to be just like me, and everything, everything, everything that I need! If I am seriously taking in all that I have, there is very little that I want.

My revelation was this: instead of thinking that as I grow closer to God my desires will become His, its that God knows me inside and out and He knows what my real desires are. He knows what is truly and completely embedded in my heart, and those are the things He is working together for my good. And the point is, that as my eyes are on Him, delighting in His presence, I can hardly see past into the realm of MORE.

There are desires in my hearts, dreams not yet fulfilled. He works alongside me for those things. And this is where it becomes true that as I grow closer to him, my wants take shape to match His will. But what took my breath away, what has been on my mind since Reagan’s furry little face nuzzled mine is remembering this: He knows me. And as I look around at what He’s already given me that I am so happy with, it gives me a small glimpse into my heart, into who I really am and where my values are and reminds me how much He loves to bless me with things that touch me personally. I am so grateful.