The Burden of Perfection

One of my greatest complications in Christianity is religion. Most Christians believe sin to be the greatest complication in the Christian life, but actually, it's abdicating your position in grace and taking on religion. Paul scolds the Galatians on this double-minded act, saying that returning to religion cuts us off from Christ Himself (Galatians 5:4). We are a people who need grace.

I have written before on my fear of raising children who do not know God, and there confessed my intention to brainwash them into belief. Even though I know it will not succeed, I still have this idea in my head, time and time again, of what stewarding my children in a relationship with the Lord looks like. Many times it is dictated by what I see others doing: family prayer time, daily devotionals, Bible curriculums, and all the quirky ways we find to make God fun and real, and not just everything, like He should be. Still, recently I was asking the Lord to forgive me for not “keeping up” with reading my children the Bible. I asked the Lord to forgive me for not being present with my kids every moment that He called me to, due to distraction and duty. I asked Him to forgive me for giving up on family worship after several failed attempts. I lay my heart broken before Him, like a shattered clay pot. I believe God appreciates our brokenness, and if we don't do it sometimes, He'll orchestrate it for us. Christians should be a really needy group of people--and well, we tend to be, but neglect to go to the One who will raise us above our crisis!

I heard Him speak so clearly to me in this moment, “Your perfection was never going to reveal me to your kids.”

There I was, right back in my mess, saturated in His grace, held by His hands, perfected by His sacrifice. There are no excuses sufficient here, just Him.

Truthfully, I have continued to forget consistent Bible time and set aside worship, though I do intend to put them into place. Still, I take comfort that the conversations never stop in this house, the stories we tell, the laughs we share, and even our failures are an ongoing anthem to His goodness, faithfulness, love, and grace. None of these things exist outside of my desperate humanity. Day in and day out, that becomes my ministry to my children.  

I guess its no surprise that my heart is breaking today for the Duggar family. If you know me, you know I love them. I own their books and DVD's, and know their children by name and in order. I've read all the hateful mess about their religiosity but it's never deterred me from their influence because I knew what I believed and what I didn't. In this sex scandal involving Josh, I just see the painful repercussions of religion. Pride in the law, an incompetence to comply, and a desperate desire to not be found out. Sin always gets found out. What a mess. Furthermore, I feel for his wife, who I am assuming is held by the throngs of religion. How painful to embrace a man-made salvation, and yet, be expected to offer up forgiveness, a selfless, supernatural act.

I do not want to judge their position in Christ, as I've watched them long enough to know their faith is of great value to them. I still want to say to Josh, to anyone living in secret sin,

The blood of Christ is enough:

To cleanse you from all impurity.

To deliver you from addiction.

To empower you to live beyond temptation.

To seat you in Heavenly Places, with your righteous Father. None of us have righteousness apart from Him.

Unless of course, we cut ourselves off.

Your perfection will not reveal the Lord to anyone. But, in your imperfection, surrender your life to Christ. Let Him gaze upon the mess you have got yourself in-- He already sees it, and He's already dealt with it. Confess.

Now, the test: Receive His love apart from your performance. I know religion has told you that punishment must ensue, but Jesus did not come to condemn. He came to love. If you remember the most rehearsed scripture next to John 3:16 (For God so loved...), 1 Corinthians 13 tells us, “Love keeps no record of wrongs.”

There is also the topic of forgiveness which we must be willing to ask for. We will never understand forgiveness if we are working to secure our own salvation. It will feel like that too must be earned. Forefront of the message of grace is forgiveness!

The thing about perfection is we can almost taste it! It feels so close. In our best laid plans, our imagination, a committed realtionship to God, and our volunteer hours added up, it can feel like we've almost made it. We've almost earned His love.

But, if any of this was done in our own strength, we wouldn't need Him. God is not needy, by the way. However, His heart is moved by our dependence on Him. After all, He gave everything to to bring us back into His presence, it would be a tragedy if we turned away and vowed to get there on our own.

Well, I have given up on that. I need God so badly. Especially today, and even more tomorrow. When we submit to this process, we began the true journey of being perfected in Him. Not living a lie of religious perfection, but simply submission, a broken pot in His hands. He gazes upon us, not as a broken vessel, but as a finished product, holy, redeemed by grace, and dearly loved. It is only in our humanity do we find a need for grace. We shouldn't fear it. We shouldn't allow it to shame us. We definitely shouldn't dwell on it. When any of us find ourselves drowning in desire or stirred in anger, we have a blessed invitation to a great exchange. Sometimes it happens every day, I hold up my mess to Him. It can be painful to have nothing more to give this good Father- just humanity, just mess. Let me tell you though, it doesn't surprise Him. He is Love, and Love keeps no record of wrongs. He is patient and Kind. He believes and hopes always. He doesn't give up. He designed us to need Him. He designed us to need love. Religion and performance will cheat you of receiving genuine love.

You'll never understand that Love never fails until you fail. You'll never understand that love never gives up until you keep failing, and it's still there. You'll never understand that the greatest of all things is love until it becomes a literal life force, and suddenly your new life in Christ becomes a realistic realization, and it wasn't that you kept trying harder to be good, but that His goodness came to your rescue every single day and it is always enough.