Why create a tempter at all?

     I have had more time to myself as of late, at least an hour or so a day, much more than I am used to. There are times when I'm doing mindless activities such as changing diapers, doing laundry, cooking spaghetti for one more dinner that I wonder if my mind even works anymore. Time off proves that it does, and since I have now been awake since 6:00 am (thank you very much, Jacob) I decided not to mope around but instead to blog.

     Let me pose a question, completely hypothetical and imaginary in nature.  If there was a button you could press to make your life perfectly good and successful by your definition, no heartache or grief involved, would you do it?  I spend about 10% of my time praying and trusting God to give me what I need to raise my children and about 90% scared to death that I'm parenting a wayward child, or that I might lose one of them and my life would never be the same.  So again I pose this, if you could press a button that would ensure your children to grow up happy, productive citizens, would you do it?  

      I've been thinking about this.  You may even say, as one of my radical Christian friends :) that I already have that button, and that is the word of God.  BUT, I know plenty of parents who attempted to raise their children as a steward of the word and rebellion rebuttal-ed!  There is no way we can guarantee how our children will turn out, although prayer and study of the word will certainly work in our favor if we are given over to it in constant devotion.  And yet, if there was no chance of our children becoming wayward, we would have no reason to be in constant devotion and prayer over them.  Now I'm straying from my point even, because I posed a question that I've been thinking over for days.  Despite the fact that, yes I will say it, I am obsessed with seeing my children be normal, successful, productive citizens that know the Lord, if I could ensure it absolutely I would not do it.  

    Why?  Because if I pressed this hypothetical, imaginary button then they wouldn't need me anymore. Sure they would need a caretaker, but not a parent and that is what I love most about my kids, the interaction with them.  My family and I took Jake to meet Thomas the Train yesterday. Jake is so funny because he gets so serious when he is happy.  He's all stoic when he sees Thomas. That is joy for Jake, to be serious.  Why build these special memories with him if he's going to turn out "good" regardless of what I do?  I would take my job far less serious if I knew that to do it well or do it halfheartedly, he would turn out the same. 

   

     "Why create a tempter at all?"  I've had those words floating around in my head.  God created everyone that is good by this world's standards, everyone that is evil by this world's standards.  I had a really difficult time on September 11th. Paul and I watched a special on the events in New York.  I found myself telling God, "You better make sure those terrorists burn in Hell!," and then I remembered that God created them.  He must have had a reason. I don't know that this is Biblical other than the fact that God created you before you were born, has all of your days numbered before you are even born, desires to give us hope and a future, so there is no doubt in my mind that each one of us was anticipated.  So another question, if you could see into your future all of the good you are capable of, and all of the bad you are capable of, given the outcome would you still want to live?  What about for your children?  I mean, my answer is, heck yes I want to keep my kids!  I know given poor instruction they will be given over to sin, but if I can show them an alternative, show them the face of all things good and point them there, they are capable of greatness.  When I see murderers and terrorists on TV I wonder what could have crossed God's mind when he created them.  But I don't think God creates us thinking, "this person will bring evil into the earth, and that is my intention" but instead, "They are going to do so much to bring my glory onto this earth if they choose me."  And we all have to choose, and it is that very choice that ultimately determines our fate.  

     So what if there was no evil. I know that anyone in a season of hurting or despair, or remembers one that might have just passed will say, "I'd prefer a world with no evil, no suffering!," but if we had that button that would predetermine only good, by our definition, then why would you have any reason to even read this blog? Why would you need me, and why would I need you?  Why would you need God?  The answer to all of these questions is simply, you wouldn't at all.  I often become frustrated with this "God doesn't want us to suffer" gospel because without it, without evil, we wouldn't need relationship, one of God's greatest gifts. Relationship with one another, and relationship with Him. It's hard to imagine what kind of praise that God created Satan to deliver to Him, Satan was one of the most beautiful angels, surely God had a beautiful plan for him.  Isn't it scary that even in the face of God one can turn away?  Pride is our enemy, for sure.  

     Well, I think I deserve some sort of medal for writing this blog, not because of its content or ease of reading or insight, but because I have a two year old standing behind me in the computer chair jumping on my back and sliding off the side saying, "weee," oh, and pulling my hair.  And even though I have some sort of sick logic where I believe that Jake should never have to feel any pain, if he didn't almost die when he was 17 days old, I would not appreciate his life during every cold, every flu bug that is rough for awhile but goes away in a week's time. If he didn't squash his fingers in the door I'd never hear, "Tiss Mommy," as he holds his smashed finger out for me to kiss.  If he didn't feel pain, he wouldn't need me at all.  And if we didn't feel pain, we wouldn't need relationship with God.  But we do need it, so desperately.

    So I think the ultimate question I am asking is: what is freewill worth to you?  Is evil necessary for freewill to exist? To dispute it is almost pointless because it is what it is, but let's not allow God and his Word become too distorted given the culture, both Christian and non-Christian alike.  I'll let you think about it ;)

   I would like to say, as a closing note, that I hope God does not make me prove that I believe this.  He has a not so convenient way of teaching us His principles if we do not grab onto them as truths, and even if we do, setting them firmly into place.  But I am about to spank Jacob for leaving the house and wandering into the yard, and I suspect it's kind of the same sort of thing God has to deal with all of the time.