Bad guys, good guys, in between guys, and the Hero...

So it happened, Comcast officially came through Tuolumne City and after 2 ½ years of being starved of the outside world we raced, no, desperately dashed to Xfinity to sign up. I’m not sure if that makes me totally awesome; I survived nearly 3 years with no internet access at home!  Or maybe I’m just incredibly taken over by technology that yes, we all did happy dances when the Comcast guy showed up. So one of the things that I greatly looked forward to was listening to IHOP live stream. I’ve been so blessed by this ministry and yet I rarely get to partake! But now, that all changes.

Yesterday I had been listening and praying along. I learn a lot by process of imitation, I hope it’s ok if I admit that. But I was loving it, loving the time with God and the heart of the intercessors in KC. “It’s a good time to be young.” Maybe it was me, maybe it was God but the message resonated in my heart. The worship leader was so young. He was hard after the heart of God, crying out to Him for salvation for the lost, redemption for his city, justice for our world, and encounter with the living God. I am excited about the future. I get to be a part of what God is doing and that is very cool.

So in walks Jake. My kids napped 1 hour each today, so not cool. As I am writing this, Sonora Grace is startling my lap, and Jake is tucked underneath my elbow, glued to my side. I love these guys. When they are napping, I try to seize the moment with the Lord. So yesterday was such a day (today was a nap day..). Jake curled up on my lap and asked his favorite question, “What are you doing?” So I explained to him that I was praying. The prayer room was interceding for sex traffickers in Kansas City, praying for their salvation. Very cool, again, and so I joined them for my own city. But I didn’t know how to explain what that meant, not to a 3 year old. Not to someone so pure of heart, so innocent. I didn’t think that was a discussion we needed to have. So birthed, “good guys, and bad guys.” Ok, so that birthed months ago when we talked about the enemy of our souls.

**I am going to stop right here and tell you that if you are young and without kids, study your keyboard now, before you have their adorable, snotty faces engulfing the front of your screen and keyboard and you cannot see what you are doing. I am simply amazed at my skills J

Moving on. So I told Jake that we were praying for bad guys. He already knows a million analogies about Jesus. “Our hearts are dirty, Jesus came to clean them,” “Our hearts are broken, Jesus will fix them,” among others. We were praying for bad guys, that actually have the potential to be good guys if they can meet Jesus. So lets pray for their hearts. Jake said, “that Jesus will take the yuckies out?” Sure, why not. He did pretty good, considering his .2 second attention span.

So this morning, I turned on IHOP and hid in the hallway so that my kids would not delay my encounter. Toy Story 3 on volume 30 totally kills my prayer life. If Toy Story 3 is not on, blubbery, high-pitched wails of the injustice of Mommy’s movie ban kills my prayer life. So hallway is the only win. But Jake found me. He got on his hands and knees and crawled towards me. When he saw the screen he sat up and gave a sly grin, he whispered, “Are those the good guys?” Uh, yeah, they are the good guys. Good job, good memory buddy. “Where are the bad guys go?” he whispered, (like we were undercover agents or something). So I told him that Jesus was working on the bad guys. Working on the yuckies in them.

Whenever Jake starts beating up on his sister, I always see something in his eyes. Something really dangerous and distant, like he’s not rolling around in my clean laundry strangling her with a dog leash (just kidding…or am I?). And it’s not rebellion. If you have boys, you probably understand this look. I don’t even know how to describe it. He grits his teeth, poses tall, and prepares for the final blow…and then Mom stops him, Thank God…

Anyway, that look. It’s valiant. It’s courageous. It’s unbelievably unnerving for a mom to see. But I know from all of my readings that it’s something that I don’t want to suppress or snuff out. I just need to shape it a bit. I’ve been sitting him down after these moments. I take a deep breath first because I’m a girl, raised by a single mom for the early part of my life and I only have a sister. Do you know how much I can relate to battles, bloodshed, bravery, and the like? Not very much. This second Paul is giving Jake the “You can’t throw pets off of 20 foot decks, you might send them to Heaven” speech.

So in these moments I sit him down and I tell him, “You are so strong, you are tough, you are a fighter and that’s good because we have a mighty fight in front of us.” I want to acknowledge his heart in all of this because I know there has to be a reason that he feels like attacking his sister. That’s kind of the cool thing about being a Christian, I have found, is that if you’re bored with simply attending church, there is probably a reason.

The story of good guys and bad guys is not so far removed from where we sit, in the darkest of places, in safe places like church, and in my own home. I don’t want my kids to underestimate their enemy, nor the role they have to play in all of this, and especially not our great victor, Jesus. Sometimes it sounds boring. No, we can’t stick a great steel sword into the “bad guys,” after all, they are far more redeemable without being punctured with sharp war objects. Instead, let’s pray. But let’s think about what is happening in heavenly places, the victories being fought. Let’s sow our hard earned money into others and watch the mystery of reaping. I don’t understand it, do you? But it’s incredible, and it’s part of the great adventure God has fused us into. We can change history.

So my “bad guy, good guy” theology doesn’t always measure up. Because we are all “bad guys” without Christ. Every single one of us could use some of Christ’s redemptive power…some more than others. So, there are good guys and bad guys in this story. And my goal here is not for Jake to see himself as the good guy, but the bad guy who desperately needs some goodness in his life. Once we side with the good guys, we come out of hiding. No more secrets, no more shame, no more running from the haunting of our past. Finally, freedom. And then the part I want Jake to resonate with the most, your strength is needed. Your courage is needed. You can practice on your sister (a little bit), but in the end, this good side will need you to take up your sword and fight. Not against people, but the strongholds over them. And Jacob, do not fear. Be strong and Courageous. The battle is the Lords. He will be with you wherever you go.

So yes, Jacob, these mighty prayer warriors are the good guys, but were not always so. They agreed with redemption, they accepted the price paid for them, and are desperately trying to pull others in. You don’t have to live like this, you can be free. And so my theory needs some working on (too bad theology to my three year old has been reduced to ‘good guys vs. bad guys’ already…) because it’s not like I think that non-Christians are “bad people,” far from it. They are my favorite kind of people because I can sometimes look at them and see the shift that would happen in their lives if they pursued Jesus. It would shake them to the floor. It would rearrange everything. So much promise is hard to not be reckoned with. So I think I clarified what needs to be addressed here in our young kids.

We are working for the bad guys (and they are hard-at-work on us) before we are redeemed. The message of the bad guys is this: You’ll never get ahead. You are worthless. You are weak. You are pathetic. You will never be somebody! But don’t give up, keep trying, keep working for something more. And don’t forget about all of the crummy things you’ve done with your life.

Oh, to work for the good guys though, the hero of this great story. It’s almost more than I can take, than I can fathom. The message of the good guys is this: I love you. You are precious. My thoughts of you are more than the grains of sand in the ocean, in all the world. You are strong in me. You are my beloved child. If you never change, I will still love you as much as I will ever love you. You can start over, anytime. I will make old, lifeless places in your heart be reborn, and flourish with abundant life.

You can work for the good guys, you know? I just felt like someone needed to hear that, other than my 3 year old who is trying to seriously wound his sister because this story, this epic battle was written on his heart long before I fluffed a goofy analogy. Somewhere deep down we all understand that we are meant for greatness. Share this destiny with me, friend.