When Paul and I first met, he wanted to be a pastor. That was all he really knew. The means, the denomination, and the voice he was supposed to have were all kind of up in the air. Slowly he started to change his mind and say he wanted to simply be an author. And then a speaker. And maybe he could travel and teach, but he knew that he did not want a church. One Sunday two years ago we were listening to the pastor from Mexico speak at Chapel, in Spanish with an interpreter. It was a really powerful message, and I don’t really remember what the context was. But at the end of the service he asked for some of the older couples and elders to pray over younger couples, and Joe Heisinger made his way to Paul and I. Once again, I don’t even remember the prayer! We got in the car after the service and exchanged our normal, “how was the service? What did you learn?…” those sort of questions, and Paul said, “Actually….when Joe prayed for me, God told me I was going to be a pastor.” From then on, that’s been in his heart. How? Where? Why? When? None of those questions were answered. But for two years now, we have held onto that promise. And we have knocked on doors. Paul has requested information from numerous schools around the country but the truth is, we have been so busy just surviving that we haven’t been in a place to just move. To just go and do what we’ve been called. I believe with all of my heart that part of it has been the wrong timing. And part of it has been lack of faith on our part. My sister recently chastised me about not having money to afford a family vacation next year, “just put $10 a week in a savings account and you’ll have the money to go!” and I was thinking, our entire life is just putting money away. That’s what we do. We save money, we pay our bills and our rent, we buy food, we give what we can, we save our money. What else is there? I am desperate for God to pull me out of this mix!
So when Paul rolled over one morning and wrapped his arms around me and said, “I think I want to go to Bethel’s School. What do you think?,” my first thought was, yes, now please! Because I am ready for what God has for us. I am ready to start calling those promises from Him to fruition. I am tired of watching my husband sell cars, sit at desks, mow lawns, and make coffee. He is in no way above these jobs. It just isn’t him. And too long my thoughts have been, “just suck it up and do your job!,” but I haven’t yet found where the Bible emphasizes that. Because he isn’t thinking, “I love my job, I just have rough days,” it’s more like, “God didn’t create me to do just this.”
So when people ask me now if we are going to Bethel, I say yes. Paul will find a job to work when we’re up there for him to earn money as he attends school. At this point, we are planning on having a roommate so we can afford rent in a 3 bedroom house. We’re just going to make this work because what else is there? I know God’s hands are on this opportunity because I know my husband and he is not a spontaneous guy, and I am not a spontaneous girl. We are so excited about this venture and I cannot wait to see what the Holy Spirit is stirring up in our life!
Paul wrote his sponsor letter and I teased him, “Where are the stories? Where is your heart?,” and I guess it’s because I am a story teller, and an emotional writer, so I wanted to take the time to write my half of the equation here. At this point we do not have the tuition in the bank. Have we lost our minds? I don’t know, and I don’t care at this point. We are going to Redding to start a new life, and I am 99.9% sure on faith that he will be in school this Fall. If you want to be a part of this venture, you can pray for us, and donate money towards tuition. It costs $4200 to attend school for a year. This is a two year commitment for us, although just like a regular school year there are various holiday breaks and we will be home to visit often (or at least I tell myself that!).
When Katie was sick, I prayed often for her healing because I cared about her and I didn’t think it was God’s will for her to remain sick. Once when I was praying the Lord just spoke to me and said, “this is much more than a prayer for healing, when you pray for someone you get to be a part of the harvest that comes about as a result of the breakthrough.” Huh…I have had that on my heart every since He spoke that to me. When I pray for people, it’s usually because I just want to see circumstances change. But I have since learned that in the Spiritual realm, as a result of prayer, there is much more going on then meets the eye. So I do believe that petitioning for prayer and support is more than just that, but an opportunity to be a part of what God is doing in our lives. I know I am Paul’s wife, but one of the things that drew me so much to him was his heart for God. I know God is going to use Him, like He uses all of us. My point is that I see so many gifts from the Lord in my husband, and half of them he’s not even sure what to do with. That’s where Bethel comes in, the knowledge of the Holy Spirit’s Presence in his life, and encouragement from others. We’re taking this turn. Paul said in his letter, “between the road where I am safe, and the road that I am unsure of and yet there is vision, I choose vision.” We have been waiting for this opportunity to open up for years now, and at this point, even Hell won’t get in our way.
I hate asking for money. Mostly because I operate in a poverty mentality (did I mention that I am so tired of walking in that bondage?) and I feel like asking for anything is asking for gold. But Paul keeps quoting to me Dietrech Bonhoeffer, who said “money is dirt,” when people he would lend money to would desperately thank him. He didn’t care and I want to be that person. I also want to trust God, who has everything, that He will provide. Another couple that recently moved to Bethel received their tuition in full the week after they applied, and I have walked to the mailbox every day to look for a check. And I cried the other day because I told Paul, “I’m not sure if I’m doing this because I have the faith that the money we need will come in, or because I don’t have the faith and I want God to show me a miracle.” I still don’t know the answer. I know God will probably do things very differently for us and so I apologize for putting Him in a box probably every single day.
I have to get back to life. To kids, and my house, and wiping poos (I hear Sonora calling from the bathroom, “All done Mommmmmmy.”), and I am trying not to stress about the fact that Paul hasn’t found a job in Redding yet (although he can transfer with Starbucks), and we have no house. Please keep these pursuits in your prayers. Also that God will go ahead of our move and prepare a support group of spiritual parents, grandparents, and friends for me!
If you wish to donate, Paypal is linked to our bank account. Also, you can send a check to Paul and Summer Krismanits at 16682 Sallander Drive, Sonora CA 95370
Now…that little girl with the poo bottom is still waiting on me!
No comments:
Post a Comment