Do Hard Stuff

      Several days ago I was teaching Jake a new letter of the alphabet. Everyday we learn a letter and I design some accompanying activity to ensure they go outside.

Day 1: “Today, we learn ‘O.’ It spells OUTSIDE. Now go outside.”
Day 2: “Today, we learn ‘D.’ It spells DIRT, which is outside.”
Day 3: “Today we learn ‘H.’ It spells HEDGEHOG, which is an animal that lives outside, in the dirt. Now go outside.”

By  now, you have caught onto my scheme. I’m not sure how I gave birth to such “indoorsy” munchkins, but I want them to experience the great outdoors like I did as a child. Surely I’m not the only parent raising children in a technology charged culture, reminiscing about how much simpler my life was! Anyway, I am a fan of the outdoors and I plan on training my children to follow in my stead. I don’t make them go outside, I inspire them to go outside. See?

The other day Jake was learning the letter ‘S.’ He couldn’t quite get it- which is ok, I’ve decided not to fret if he cannot write a letter, it’s more important he gets the sound down. But we still trace and try. He dropped his head onto the table and sighed, “this is really hard.” I’m not sure where this came from, but I intentionally got down on his level and stared into his soul, “Jake, I know it’s hard. The good news is, you can do really hard stuff.” I realize that there is a book called “Do Hard Stuff” written for teenagers, and I’ve never read it. I, however, love the concept. Once it spilled out of my mouth, I have found myself speaking it over my kids almost every day. I encourage myself with it as I attempt to scale a Mt. Everest of laundry, “Summer, you can do hard stuff.”

Just yesterday I was reading another mom’s blog where she poured out her heart. She was having a bad day, week, month, year and it was all because parenting children is HARD. I totally get it. I read those blogs and smile because I know I am not alone. On the other hand, since I’ve been telling myself that I can do hard stuff, the blog tempted me to feel sorry for myself in my weakness. I saw all the comments telling this mom that they felt the same way, “AMEN!” The only solutions she posed were to have quiet time with God every day. I’m sorry, I guess I get the "Bad-Christian-Mom-of-the-Year" award because that is not my goal. That doesn’t mean I don’t pray, or pick up my Bible before I homeschool….but I don’t plan ANYTHING for my day, except to maybe get dressed, feed my kids three meals, teach them how to say and write one letter from the alphabet, and pray with them. My whole day eventually adds up to that. My point is, parenting is hard.

     But, so what? You were made to do hard stuff. That is why Jesus died to send us the Holy Spirit, who is also called “helper.” He also teaches us things, like how to parent. I really believe that as parents, we have what we need to get through the day. Just what we need to get through- sometimes an abundance, sometimes nothing more. Living on the edge of having your needs met or falling just below and being desolate is hard. It’s scary. BUT, we can do it. The more you succeed in walking that line and looking to Heaven and knowing that you will be ok, the easier it gets. When you are trudging through a season that is heavily taxing, keep trudging with a mission. Those seasons have fruit. If you have a season where you have been heavily investing, you will have a harvest. You will probably have another task you are working on, but you won’t be potty training forever. You won’t be training your kids to behave in a store forever. Just because your 4 year old is a “biter” doesn’t mean your 6 year old will be a biter. It will end.

I hold a baby 75% of the day, and “touched out” is an understatement. I have a child with physical touch as a love language, and another as quality time. I will intentionally “fill their love tank,” and an hour later, they are hanging on me like little monkeys. This has been my latest battle. Sometimes I wishtand all the touching because they need me, and sometimes I teach boundaries. Like as I write this blog, I have wiped a toddler's poop, and wiped two pee-pees. I, however, am not getting up to fix a snack for them right now. 15 more minutes children! It’s hard. But, I can do hard stuff. I also have a strong-willed daughter, you can read about her here. Doing battle requires a certain level of discernment and I usually lean towards avoidance. Sometimes I need to engage and I really don’t want to. Just last night she had a tantrum and I hauled her to her room with the charge that she could come out when she wasn’t screaming. It was hard to stop what I was doing [making dinner] and handle her, but I can do hard stuff. I have the Holy Spirit.

I really want to encourage moms to start believing that you have what you need to do this well. This job of raising young ones is intensive, but isn’t there something in the Bible about His grace being perfected in our weakness? I have to say, that is the story of my life! It has even helped me move from a rehearsed mantra of “I can do hard stuff,” to “God, I want to do hard stuff. What else do you have for me? Another baby? Another move? An identity crisis? A sibling battle? Bring it on!”

I don't know who you are, but you will be ok. You will taste the fruit of this season of sowing. This lifelong mission of sowing into your children. And when you do, you will sit back with the sweetness and be glad that you took the risk to engage in something really difficult and succeeded. You can do it!