My Rock Blog...Seriously

When I was much younger I prided myself greatly according to the extensive rock collection that I held. Not CD’s my friend, but actual rocks. And not rocks from the driveway, but real beauties. My Mama and Mama Gay saw to it that I owned only the best. It was a treat for me to go to a gem store and pick out something new, even if it was small, so I could drop it down in a little plastic cubby hole of which I had endless amounts of space. This was also when I was convinced my life’s calling was to be a geologist because yes, I couldn’t imagine anything better than getting paid to dig up rocks, at least that was my impression of what a geologist would do. All that to say, I am not much different these days. When you get me outside, I can’t help but to pick up rocks, point out funny looking trees, and the ocean bids me farewell with a pocket full of seashells.

I love bodies of water. Particularly the ocean. And the river. And creeks, and lakes, and you get the picture. Today we visited the Sundial Bridge in Redding and I was taken aback by all of the colorful river rocks that adorned the shoreline. I cannot help but to imagine what a creative, kind God I serve when I look at rocks. One single rock will look completely different when taken from the water and placed in the sunlight, giving it an even different demension of uniqueness. It's just His glory. Anyway, to make what I can (and am tempted to make) a really long story into a short one, if God put that much time and energy and creativity into rocks, how much more did he put his heart into each of His children? Into each of my children? Into me??  And when Jake shouted “I gotta go potty!” and we jerked his britches off and he looked confused, “uh, I mean I have to go poo poo,” Paul whisked him away to the nearest toilet while Sonora and I sat on the shore. So I started to pick out rocks that reminded me of my kids, that to me, represented their souls. Because just like these rocks are so different, they each, in my opinion, have the fingerprint of God on them. Like my husband and my kids.

So I’ll start with mine. I scoured the river shore for something that reminded me of myself. Activities like this are spiritual in nature for me because I love to appreciate nature. I found this one. The frigid yet chill water did not hinder my hand for a second. The diamond appeal of the ripples invited me to explore. This rock is green and blue splotchiness, which gave it an overall teal appearance. I love the green and blue because green makes me think of the trees and grass and spring foliage, and blue makes me think of water. And if you were to ask me to describe myself, I would start by telling you how much I love those places and things. I didn’t have the revelation until after I found the rock that it is also in shape of a heart. How cool is that? Most of you know that I have a tattoo of a small pink heart on my hip. I have always loved that shape because culturally it is the symbol for love. And I am in love with the concept of love. I crave it to the core of my being, like most humans if we are honest with ourselves. In my case at least I am thoroughly convinced that I have the wrong impression of what love is since I am never satisfied. That is the beauty of being a lover of God though, how can there every be enough of something so profoundly beautiful and limitless? That’s my point I guess.

(I needed flash to capture the color!)

 

I found this next rock and grasped it tightly at my heart. Because it is Paul to me. The rock in itself is brown and green, and even a little gold, but through it runs a vein of red jasper. It makes me think of fire and passion, and everything that burns so hot in that heart of my husband. He never does anything that matters to him halfway. I think about how he serves the Lord, and his heart is simply for more. When he takes spiritual tests he actually scores high on “martyr,” (the very one I avoid, fyi). That is one thing I can hands down say for Paul, that he would in a heartbeat die for the Truth that is written on his heart. Even friends and family who do not agree with him cannot deny that he believes what he does fervently. As a father too, he is so in love with those children of ours. I am so blessed to see him put his all into such an endeavor, and can say that although neither of us seek to be a martyr for our children, Paul laid down his life as a 25 year old bachelor to raise Jake with me. What a gift he has given to all of us. He is dying all of the time, and teaching me to do the same. Not my favorite thing in this world, probably because I'm lacking that same vein of fire, but I do love him for it.

Of course, finding rocks for my children was the hardest thing to do. Because they are absolutely exceptional in my book, and there are so many facets of their beautiful personalities that I wanted to capture, in a rock. It seemed impossible, and quite frankly, it is. Jake especially. Sonora especially. There was just no winning. But I found this one for Jake and I liked it because it was a beautiful mix of blue and green and orange, sort of like camouflage. That is incredibly appropriate for Jake, though he does not hunt, but simply because he is a boy at heart. Jake can be strong, but in his strength there is no meanness or weakness, just simple (yeah right) masculinity. He is busy, yes. But he is also so gentle and kind. Part of the reason I picked this rock is because it was so smooth and Jake has such a sweet heart, and there are days where he can be rough around the edges but overall, he is so laid back in nature. His personality is so much fun, I have come to love his jokes and silly comments. But at the end of the day, he is usually melting my heart and putting a smile on my face. I thought this was a simple rock, with bursts of twisting vibrant color in all of the right places, and to me that is Jake.  He seems to carry that "color" wherever he goes.

Sonora was the hardest. She is the hardest to train as well. Because she is so different. First of all, my inclination was to pick the reddest, orangest rock that stood out to me. That’s her, she’s all or nothing kind of gal. But when I would lift a rock that caught my eye from the water it would suddenly turn dull. And Sonora is anything but dull. So I found this one, among ten others, that meant something to me for her. This one has layers, it was like a red and brown and black sandwich. A lot of passion and will, and a little flesh mixed in there.  One minute Sonora is kissing my forehead and whispering something intangible and warm in my ear. The next she is throwing her dinner plate at me. We always say how fiery she is. That’s true. Here lately though, all we see is this sweet spirited servant. When I fix a juice cup for her in the morning, she will not receive it until Jake has his. And she wants to bring it to him. She makes laundry unbelievably difficult and time consuming because she wants to do it for me. She doesn’t want to help, she wants to take over. She is loud when she screams, but her singing voice brings me such joy. Her stomping is worthy of a spanking if she pushes it, but her dancing makes me want to join in next to her. She is so free. And in my heart I feel like that is her calling, the pursuit of freedom for herself and others.

It’s true that Sonora was harder for me than Cori. Because I saw this rock and knew that it was the one I wanted for the baby. It was the one rock I really couldn’t capture like I wanted to on the camera. In person, it is a mint green. I am smitten with that color in general, but I think I liked the softness of it. Maybe I am trying to be optimistic but I could seriously use an “easy” girl. If the good Lord wants to give me another powerhouse princess, I will take it, but I am hoping and believing (faith is the substance of things hoped for!) that Cori will bring peace and light into my life. Mint green is peace and light to me. And then there are some funky brown veins running throughout this rock, and I know I am pregnant, but brown makes me think of chocolate. And chocolate is sweet and wonderful in every way, and a taste is never enough without another. That is Cori to me, Cori in the womb: pure sweetness. This was also the littlest rock, and for the next few years anyway, Cori will be the small fry in our clan. Some of the best things in life come in small packages, isn’t that a popular saying???

So there you go, the souls of my children in the form of rocks. I am a nature geek, it just comes with the territory.